If you are in danger of hurting yourself call 911 or visit your local hospital emergency room. They have trained professionals ready to help right now.
I am a survivor. I am also a former class-clown. I used humor as a shield. I relied on it to make friends. Fortunately, I had a ton of friends. That said I made others laugh in public while hating on myself in private.
It took me 54 years to be able to face and name the childhood abuses I endured. My go-to coping skill was self-sabotage. A number of close friends confronted me about it during my recovery. I didn’t hide away as the victim of a traumatic childhood. I had a very successful advertising career till I walked away from one of the top five creative director jobs in Chicago, at age 40.
Sabotaging literally everything good in my life played out another couple dozen times. I’ll spare you the details.
Only after my life pancaked at 45 was I willing to face the childhood trauma and seek out therapists. Becoming vulnerable and listening to safe others changed my remaining days for the good.
What changed? I was the friend of everybody but myself before. The self-contempt is gone. Has been for years, so much so, this brand was born to help others love others and themselves not hide pain like I did.
If you’re safe, but feel stuck, here is one of the books that changed my life. Coping skills were not taught in my home. I flopped around for years not knowing these. The chapters are crazy short. The topics are written with great empathy and understanding. And so you know I have never met nor communicated with the author Dr. Mark Reinecke. I have not and will never receive a single penny sharing his wonderful, life affirming book with you.
I chose this particular page because of the many descriptive comments other professionals have made about his book. Buy it any place you choose. — Michael Fornwald